In the wake of Obergefell vs. Hodges, the Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage, some Americans are trying to bargain with the victors. They are pleading with gay rights advocates to at least let us have religious freedom.
But it won't work.
Critics and victims of the rage-filled gay rights tsunami are comparing the new reality to living under a totalitarian regime, with the unforgiving "gaystapo" as the new SS. The analogy is not totally off -- Ernst Rohm, one of the first Nazis, was a homosexual, and the early movement was littered with homosexuals. Yet in order to truly understand our new oppressors it's necessary to understand not only the language of politics, but of psychotherapy.
Christian America is being emotionally abused by the gay rights movement.
Emotional abuse is a sinister human reality, arguably more iniquitous in its slow-drip subtlety than outright physical abuse or political aggression. In emotional abuse a partner (and some think it happens more to men than women) is lured in by love and affection, only to have their spouse or significant other exert more and more psychological and spiritual control, then curdling into abuse. The abuser might start as a loving person with a slight edge of sarcasm, but over time they methodically pick apart the self-esteem of their partner. The occasional cutting quip becomes a steady stream of put-downs. Nothing the abused person can do is enough.
Eventually there is an atmosphere of chaos and unpredictability. Victims often have emotional breakdowns.
The author of a new book, Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life, Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD itemizes the ten behaviors characteristic of emotional abuse:
• Bullying
• Unreasonable expectations
• Verbal attacks
• Gas-lighting (lying and then claiming the abused is crazy)
• Unpredictable responses
• Constant chaos
• Emotional blackmail
• Rejection
• Withholding affection
• Isolating
The result? Palmatier: "You're constantly on edge, walking on eggshells, and waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is a trauma response. You're being traumatized by her behavior. Because you can't predict her responses, you become hyper vigilant to any change in her mood or potential outburst, which leaves you in a perpetual state of anxiety and possibly fear."
To analogize the hegemonic sweep of the new homosexual oligarchy to what sounds like a New Age psychological term can seem odd, an outlier to the larger struggle for political power that is actually going on. Yet emotional abuse is the driving force of many tyrannies, including historic monsters like Hitler and Stalin. Hitler was abused by his father; that, combined with a traumatizing war experience in World War I and the resentment of being a failed artist, turned him into a monster. Driving Hitler's armies and master plan was a pathetically childish psyche.
The emotional abuse of America by the left has been going on for decades. No matter what amends are made for slavery, misogyny or misgivings about homosexuality, it's never enough. In the beginning, advocates for gay marriage assured us that they loved America. The country wasn't perfect, but mostly what gay activists wanted was the ability to express love without violent reprisal. They didn't want to control the rest of us, or dictate terms or tell us what to believe. No one would lose their job or business because of gay marriage. And America, like a decent man committed to his wife, didn't like it when gays were bullied. Warily, traditional America decided to enter into a relationship to explore options for more freedom for everyone.
For a few years things went well. Gay people got to live more openly. There were more homosexual characters on television and in politics. States were debating gay marriage.
But then something changed. Liberals didn't just accept civil unions, they demanded gay marriage -- or else.
Anyone who didn't only accept gay marriage but celebrate it was isolated as a hateful bigot. Bullying and gas-lighting of resisters became common. Gay marriage advocates ignored or denied that they had ever argued that no one would lose their job if gay marriage was passed. A Christian baker who didn't want to make a cake for a gay wedding was ridiculed, isolated, and lost his business. Like an abuser who refuses to ever acknowledge wrong doing, preferring to turn the tables on the abused, gay marriage advocates now refuse to answer the most simple questions. To ask "What is marriage?" is to be emotionally blackmailed (shame!), isolated (go back to the 1950s!) and bullied (damn right, you'll lose your business).
The sad part is that emotional abuse usually continues until there is divorce or the perpetrator gets help. The only other way to escape emotional abuse is to adapt a spiritual perspective that allows one to, as philosopher Roger Scruton put it, "step outside of the circle of retribution." Scruton was referring specifically to Christianity, which preaches love for one's enemies. This is how blacks in America, surely one of the most emotionally and physically abused people in human history, were able to transform America's political and social systems with minimal violence. Without Christianity, the civil rights movement would have resulted in a lot more bloodshed -- and the fighting may still be going on today.
Lacking Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Christian influence, the gay marriage aggressors have nothing to restrain them. They also reject the Natural Law preached by King, who quoted Thomas Aquinas in his Letter From a Birmingham Jail. Fueled by resentment and childish rage, untethered from -- indeed contemptuous of -- human reason that observes male and female bodies are different, the "gaystapo" won't be satisfied until the last homophobe in America is brought up on charges.
And as classic emotional abusers, whose very nature is to demand more and more supplication, even that won't be enough.
